Body language at your work

February 22, 2012 by
Filed under: Learn bodylanguage 


You can try it yourself. Say ‘no’ but nod ‘Yes’. Im sure you can do it, but it takes alot of effort. Body language and spoken language are two different languages. We speak and understand them both. The importance of body language for communication can hardly be underestimated. There are authors who argue that more than half of what is communicated is done through body language. There are authors who argue that at least 70 percent. It’s not about the number. Realize that your body is just as important as what you say and how you say it.

When you want to give your partner a positive feeling, you can tell him is that he’s a whopper. But its more effective to just look at him and smile or nod with interest what he says. Turn it around. There is nothing so destructive as when you tell someone a story and he or she gives no response to what you say. You are not fascinating enough. “Yesterday I was at a fun workshop …” Monty says. John’s responds with “Is there still coffee left in that can?” That hurts. You can almost feel it physically. Conversely: “Yesterday I was at a fun workshop …” Monty says. John reacts with “Tell me, what was it about?” and he turns his body towards Monty and gives him a warm smile. You can be sure, the next 5 assignments from monty are given to John.

Use your hands positively

Some do not have to learn while others will never learn. If you talk with people it is important to use your hands. Gestures support your story. Gestures make it livelier. For example, consider a talk show on TV. And compare guests that communicate on an easy, natural way with guests who are not so comfortable in communicating.
And you can try it out yourself; if you sit alone in a room, try talking and using your hands to support your story. You will see that it also works vice versa: if you use your hands, it will be easier to talk. Just as a side note: do it to a certain degree. Very large gestures are pompous and exude a commitment to dominance. That is not useful if you want to tickle someone’s ego a little bit.

Try not to fold your hands if possible, nor put them over each other on your belly. That looks defensive. Just as putting your arms over eachother in front of your chest. Also, try not to put your hands in your pocket in fornt of a group while you talk. Experienced speakers do that sometimes to emphasize their routine. But it still radiates mainly carelessness. Also not done: hands in the side. Bring it on, that seems to say.

Do you have trouble using your hands while talking? Try to get some stability by holding a glass or a cup.

Your feet tell a story

You just watch during the lunch break of a symposium. If people are talking you can see who is happy with his partner and who is not. The happy talkers have their feet facing the person with whom they talk. Looking someone is looking for another discussion partner, the feet point away from the current partner. The same applies to the position in which a foot to the speaker, and assigns to the other away from it. Even then, would you rather than stay away.

What good is this knowledge? It also sometimes happens that you are talking with someone you dont really like. If you try to point both your feet towards that person, it helps you to give him attention. The gesture will support your behavior.

Mirroring behaviour

Of all the tips, tricks, do’s and don’ts mirroring is the easiest. You already do this, whether you like it or not. In social situations we copy each others behaviour. We bow towards each other, we slide our chair backwards simultaneously to give an example. If we copy each other’s behavior we strengthen the bond. If we show the opposite side of each others behaviour, then there is obviously something wrong.

Who wants to flirt, works consciously to build and maintain a positive relationship. In body language: who wants to flirt follows the behavior of others as long as it can be interpreted positively. And if the behavior can be interpreted negatively you show reverse behavior.

Is it that simple? No, im afraid its not. Do not imitate anyone. That will only give irritation. So when someone is turning an playing with his hands, dont copy it. Andd always let some time pass between the behavior of others and your subsequent behavior. If you dont do that, you will imitate.