Learn body language by observing others

October 20, 2011 by
Filed under: Learn bodylanguage 

The technique involves observing other people’s body language to notice what works and why it works – as well as what doesn’t work and why it doesn’t work. You can do this exercise right now thanks to the Internet. Go on YouTube and find a video of someone who you look up to and who is notably famous. Don’t get distracted by watching the plethora of available videos! Do the exercise!

If you have found a video of this person you are after, turn all sound off, watch the video, and observe his or her body language. Take note of what makes the person interesting. What is good about their body language?

Once you’ve watched a video of a person you like, find a video of an everyday person. Again, watch this video with the sound off. Observe this person’s body language and compare the difference to the body language of the person you admire. It is not guaranteed, but the person who is notably more successful will appear more interesting than the everyday person due to their differences in body language. Ask yourself what parts of their body language could be improved. Begin using the body language lessons you have learned.


Another and more original version of this technique involves watching people throughout the day in diverse areas of life. For example, you can go into a busy area with many people like a shopping center and observe people’s diverse body language. Watch people who have poor eye contact when they talk to others, customer service staff that don’t smile, or people who walk with a pitiable posture. These people will generally be of a lower social class. Now watch those who you think are in a higher social class. They will appear more interesting because they will hold their heads up straight, make good eye contact, will likely smile, and have excellent posture. Observe what works and why you think it works, then use it.

Observing these situations deepens your understanding of how powerful gooey eyes, an illuminating smile, and a capitalizing posture is in making you interesting and powerful. Practice these techniques in a mirror or the next time you socialize and see for yourself how they instantly make you a more interesting person without saying a word. Keep up the practise!

Keep up the practise

When putting these skills to use, do not expect perfection. Communication is a skill like any other and so do not think the techniques do not work or that you cannot communicate well. When a professional golfer makes a swing change, he knows that the change is difficult to implement. He knows that he won’t start swinging perfectly when correcting his swing. The good golfer persists following his coach’s advice and works towards his goal of swinging the golf club better.

Communication is a progressive effort that needs constant focus. When practicing these techniques, you need to ask yourself:

“What worked well?”

“What could have been done better?”

“What have I learned for next time?”

Realize communication is a skill that must be learned to have fulfilling relationships and that to successfully communicate you need to keep learning and improving these skills. A golfer doesn’t practice 70 hours one week and not practice the rest of the year!

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