Signs that show personal relations

November 27, 2011 by
Filed under: Communication 

There is alot of signs to see if two people have some kind of bond with each other. The easiest one to spot is the distance between the bodies of two people. When they sit, walk and / or stand close to each other, there is a big chance they have some kind of relation. They enter the personal space, which we know is mostly for close relations like intimates, children and family.

But it can be misleading aswell. We see other people often in crowded places, so and close proximity can be misleading in situations like this. Of when a young person is helping an old woman across the street, what can you tell about them? The change that they are, lets say lovers, is really small, but still they move close to one another. Or maybe they are just family. And there is two men who are walking close on the side of the street can be old friends or just one guy explaining the other guy (a complete stranger) the way to the nearest metro station.

So to be certain if two people who are in eachother’s personal space are bond needs more study than just plain observing the distance between their bodies. But fact is that we can usually tell in such cases, but it happens in the subconscious. If we are asked why we think it, it usually turns out that you have to say: ‘I dont know, it’s just a feeling’.

How old is the relationship?

One of the most obvious beginnings for any social tie is an exchange of names. When a relation goes on over time, the use of personal names declines. After progressing from ‘Mr Anderson’ to John, and maybe Johnny, the stage arrives where the man becomes referred to as an unidentified category, such as:darling, dear, buddy or mate, according to the nature of the relationship.

The use of first names doesnt disappear completely, but it becomes of third-party use, like ‘ Have you seen John’.

Handshaking also declines the longer two individuals know each other. Between lovers and spouses it disappears completely as a greeting or farewell and surfaces only occasionally, for example when making a joke. Between old friends its used less and less, except when meeting after a long seperation. Butthere a re always exceptions seen in other cultures. The French for example keep shaking hands, even if they know one another for several years.

The older a relation is, the social encounters become more limited. A sign of old (or young and a very good) friendship is that two people can sit tigether in a peaceful silence without the feeling to keep up a tream of cheerful chatter.

And a last pointer of determing how old a relation is, the exchange of personal histories becomes exhausted, the partners have heard it all before.


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